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Do you talk about money with your children?

November 19, 2008

I’m curious about how many parents talk to their children about money. Do parents of young children talk about what money is and the difference between money and credit or ATM cards? Do parents of high schoolers talk to their teens about how much money they earn and how much household bills are? Do parents of adult children talk about investments and how much they have saved for retirement?

The New York Times published this article about how parents and adult children need to talk to one another about their financial situations. If you read the article followed by the comments made by many posters, it’s clearly a thorny topic.

I’ve always been surprised when I see people who hide their financial situation from their family members. This is because I grew up in a family where money was openly discussed. From the time that I was old enough to understand the concept of a salary and the expenses needed to keep a family going, I knew how much money my parents made. I went grocery shopping with my mom and saw how much the bi-weekly trips cost. Money discussions didn’t dominate life, but they weren’t hidden from my brothers and me either.

As I result, I grew up with no delusions about money. I had reasonable expectations about how much money I would earn and what I could do with that money. I certainly haven’t been perfect in my financial decision making, but I haven’t gotten myself into trouble either.

Recently a teenage cousin in my extended family asked his father how much money he made. The response was basically of the “It’s none of your business” variety. I pointed out to my cousin that it wasn’t an appropriate question to ask in a group of people. The response from the father was that he wouldn’t have answered the question even if they had been alone.

I disagree with that response. (I should note that I kept my opinion to myself at the time because I didn’t want to start a family fight and what happens in their family is their business.) For the purpose of our readers I would like to explain why I disagree.

This is just my personal take on talking to teens about salaries. Often times teenagers don’t understand the cost of things. If a teenager doesn’t know how much money his parents make, he probably doesn’t know what the house or car payments are or how much property taxes are or the cost of utilities.

This is how young people grow up and end up living beyond their means. They have no concept of what it costs to run a house and try to live at the same standard as their parents.

It could very well be that a teenager thinks that his parents earn $60,000 and if he gets a job that pays that much he can have what his parents have. In reality, the parents could be earning double or triple that amount.

It’s up to parents to set a good financial example for their children. I think it’s good to be upfront and let your children know where the family stands financially. If you start talking to your children about the basics of money at a very young age, it will be easier to continue those talks as they get older.

Hopefully it will give your children a good perspective on money when they become adults.

What are your thoughts on this topic? Do you discuss money with your children? If so, why? If not, why not?

Written by admin · Filed Under Misc. 

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